pottazcutey

Blah.

Yeah, this blog has definitely been left in the dust. No longer that active in LJ anymore, besides using it for the PH community. It probably better to get me at tumblr now than to come back and look for a probably non-existence blog, well, not that anyone would come here anyway. 

I am now a senior in school (like finallyyyy even though it really seems just like yesterday that I document over here about the uncontrollable excitement for year 1 to start). Though school have started for about 1 month or so, I have yet to step foot into the building. Reason being: We are all away doing our internship. 

Ever since I was placed to join the team working on this huge project, my load has increased by ten folds. It have been very taxing, shoots after shoots after shoots, recces, emails and calls coming in like no other business (Am expecting more work to come in the coming weeks leading up to SS). It was really interesting at first, like how we were so excited to be able to spend some time with the A-lister Stars coming to town for the event and now that the excitement have died, all our gears have kicked in and we have been running on a very tight schedule and high productive level. 

Nevertheless, I am still very excited about job, maybe not that exciting anymore when you wake up dead tired and realised you have a full day shoot ahead but I am really still enjoying what I am doing. Chances of doing what I am doing would not have come if not for the position I was placed in and for that I am very grateful. 

I wonder if it's out from the heart or just from pure annoyance that I waited for a long while for my dinner to arrive, but when everyone on the table were discussing about the aftermath of a recent breakup of a particular couple, particularly on how this guy is making quite a scene on the social networking sites to 'emo' and attract the attention of the girl, and one of the straight-into-your-heart statement I made was, "This guy needs to grow up and be a man." Afterall, the guy is not that young anymore. And continued to make another equally terrible but wise (in my opinion) comment. 

Then came the silence and stunned expressions. Oblivious to what I just implied on, at that point of time, I just continued on my food hastily. 

Came back home, pondered on what was spoken and realised while my words may be what this guy really needs to work on but the message came out all too wrong at that point of time. Plus, a certain level of self-control have not been exercise in this case and my words have definitely hurt more than just the male's egos. 

Out of my irritation (blame it on the food), I have totally forgotten someone at the table had been hurt similarly before, and if not, her relationship has ended in a much terrible note that this couple has experienced. 

This is one of the many countless times that my mouth runs faster than my brains and gotten myself into serious consequences. Well, thankfully the company I had just now knew me well enough to know that this happens very much often and always choose to overlook it, but it is still high time for me to learn this lesson soon. 

But then again, while I feel regretful for making that implication aloud, it still doesn't change my stand about this guy needing to grow up and man up. 

Boy, that was what all the year 2s felt today.
And the term rage is probably the understatement of the year, considering all the tweets, facebook status and (loud) whispers that I have been seeing and hearing all day.

Oh well, let bygones be bygones, though it is really tough to do so at this point of time.
Treating this as a valuable lesson, being glad that it didn't happened to me nor when we are doing our internship, because consequences would definitely be worse than this.

It has been a while.

I am been swarmed with work ever since my last post.

Things have relatively calmed down for a while, considering the CNY holidays, but it will pick up again, like probably in 2 or 3 days' time.

Well, a little breather before finishing the last lap of Year 2.

Many events have been happened over the past 2 weeks of absence in this page. The good and the bad. Well, all I can conclude is, it's time to move on and grow.

Imagine a situation (that could change your life forever - for the worst) ever to come into your life when you're really young. Old to remember what you see, young enough not to understand what's going on. And after this incident, you decided that every human on this face of the planet will never deserve your trust because it is just too risky to put it up out there and let it be stampeded by a bunch of 'friends'.

What can they (the innocent people you've lost your trust in even when you have not met them before) do in order to gain back your trust in them?

Sounds complicated? Yeah, it has been something swimming around in my head for a while now and tonight, I have to find that solution to the question.

Tonight God reminded me 'new wine cannot be contain in the old wineskin'. Likewise, I must continuously learn to upgrade myself in all aspects of my life so that I can still be relevant as an influencer in this society.

Whole City, Whole World.

It's 6 days into 2011 and finally having a short breather between assignments.

2010 went by in a blur. It was probably the busiest year ever. It started out slow with my 9 weeks break that I had but once the new academic year starts, it just seems that 2010 finally started and boy, it came in strong and furious. The lecturers were right to warn us of the lack of social life we were about to have. Hate to admit but they are always right in saying such stuff.

The stress piled on my shoulder increased after a series of not-so-fantastic grades. Having the competitive streak of an overachiever and someone who can't work well under pressure, naturally there were several times that I had emotional or mental breakdown. And just when we thought the stress from sem 2.1 was over, sem 2.2 came and robbed us away from celebrating Christmas and New Year peacefully. I can now proudly announce that I spent the first 24 hours of 2011 doing the stupid animation (no pun intended) and I had no qualms that many of my fellow coursemates were doing the same.

2010 was also a year where a huge change took place in my ministry. I was transferred from the youths (after 5 years) to the poly ministry. I was nervous at the thought of new environment but everything just fitted in the moment the new lifegroup came together. After 3 months, the transfer's lifegroup broke away and into our respective lifegroup in which I was also pieced into the picture almost immediately. And honestly, transferring was a good change, something I felt was best decision that I made in '10 (technically it was a decision I made in '09 but transferred only in '10).

It was heartwarming to know the little changes I had in my social circle. The couple handfuls who I can trust with my life are still the ones I can throw my most honest thoughts out and not worried being judged by them. And I am glad that with the changes in ministry comes another bunch of sisters that I know I can rely on. It is true that I don't have a wide social circle but the truth is that it is more important to have many you can depend on rather than many acquaintances that you can't trust for nuts.

Midway through the year, I joined the SFSC through which my passion for the industry grew. Learnt the ropes of what it means to be a part of the media and had a glimpse of how it works. Expanded my network by talking to some important players in the industry. 

In a nutshell, 2010 was a year filled with uncertainties, challenges, breakthroughs and new directions. 2011 proved to be an even challenging year ahead, just by looking at my iCal for the first 2 months (I have assignments due every single week till the end of Feb!). 6 months internship in less than 4 months away, still I have no idea where I am posted to (*cross my fingers that I am not posted to Jurong Island*) and hopefully 2011 can clear the fog on for my quest for answer on the 'what's next?' question after graduation (it's just roughly 15 months away, *gasp*).

Just clicked on this particular file on my desktop that I had been avoiding to do so for a while. What used to hold a excited big dream and goals have now turned into a pile of scattered words that are no longer much viable. It pains me to see what a dozen hopefuls of young people's dreams that was coming to past to be gone and vanished in the air just like that, because of the lack of motivation and perseverance. I just had to put it into my documents so that the icon on the desktop can stop haunting me.

Had not been in the best form recently due to a couple of setbacks. I doubt I am able to bounce back so quick this time round. As much as I tried, it is still hurting pretty bad. The wounds are still raw and open. It's gonna to take a bit more time before I can come back on track. And still, I need a magic spell to get me motivated once again.

Haven't been posting anything here recently because of various reasons which one involves tumblr. Yep, I'm now on the tumblr train. And that site is pretty amazing, but this LJ will still be around, since there's PH and also it is still the ideal place to rant, tumblr is too....noisy for such stuff, if you get what I mean.

Sem 2.2 term 1 is about to end pretty soon, left with the last lesson for BSE and Radio (which I will be going on-air in school for about 40 mins). Then it would be CCC exam and then...KOREA. Heheh, so excited about it but not too keen about the weather. As much as I love cold weather but I'm just gonna look really disgustingly fat in the photos since the expected temperature is about -10 degrees.

As usual, there has been a lot of interesting thoughts going through my mind lately. This particular question, "How do you define a true friend?" popped up in my mind 1 week ago on the way home and today, during CCC lecture, Ms Chuah brought it up and had some people to answer it. Hmmm, I am surprised and well, amused, at how we think alike then I realised, 'oh, it is really God's voice'. There must be something beyond just that sentence but it is really worth the captivating thought on this daunting question that might not have appeared in anyone's mind easily.

School's assignments have been haunting me around for the couple of weeks and yesterday I finally was able to get some space. Well, at least for a while. After CCC paper, I am quite sure the school assignment ghost will be back to his doings. Am quite prepared to bring Silver to Korea just so that I can get started on my animation video.

January'11 will be a crazy month, like seriously much worse than December'10. February'11 looks bad too, but only for the first 2 weeks. So in the nutshell, sem 2.2 term 1 has been a ride, sem 2.2 term 2 will be a wilder ride. Well, buckle up year 2s, we're about to takeoff for the wildest trip of your studies.